As a life coach, I see this as a common issue with many clients. It’s important to open your heart to forgiveness.
“Think carefully about the word forgiveness. Let your thoughts flow. It’s amazing to experience the thoughts that go through your head when you let go, allowing yourself to wonder about these things.”
Don’t fight it!
Try not to stop any emotion or feeling you might experience. Think carefully about each and every thought.
Ask yourself honest questions:
- What does the term forgiveness mean to you?
- When will the time be right to forgive someone or yourself?
- What is keeping you from forgiving?
- Why do you struggle?
- In which way is forgiveness part of your life?
- What steps do you need to take in order to be able to forgive?
To forgive is a choice
To forgive is a choice. It might be easier said than done. If you work or live with someone or see someone on a regular basis who affects your life in a negative way, it might become a challenge. In a situation like this, it’s best to tackle this challenge to forgive.
I’m sure most would agree that we grew up hearing “forgive but don’t forget”. If you live according to these words, you will never discover true forgiveness. The only reason anyone uses these words, is to be able to somewhere in the future still refer to what happened. You need to change the way you think.
What your forgetting is that the person who forgives afterwards feels free. You may not want to forgive because of broken trust in a relationship. To forgive does not mean to drop everything and carry on as usual. Just start by thinking about giving this person a second chance. Think about this for a minute. When you make a mistake at work or as a parent, we get many chances to make it right. Why would you not forgive someone else?
Ask yourself what reason are you holding on to for your inability to forgive. Mostly, people find that certain situations hurt people more than others. The main reason is the feeling of taking revenge on whoever hurt you in the past or making sure this person endures the same amount of pain you did.
“To hold on to any negative feelings towards someone else in order to get back at them, is like drinking the poison yourself, but expecting someone else to die. The poison only affects your body and your health.”
When you hold on to negative feelings, your life will be full of unhappiness and not move forward. You will be okay for a bit and then hit a wall. You then begin to think why you can’t get ahead or be successful. The reason is the longer you hold on to the negative feelings, the longer YOU will not move forward.
Make the decision
Go and make the choice to handle any uncomfortable situation immediately. Do not let those negative feelings grow inside of you and later on make it impossible for you to forgive. Learn how to evaluate situations and decide where you focus your energy. Learn that forgiving is something you do for yourself not for anyone else.