Negativity: Recognize and eliminate it to live a happy life
You cannot build your own happiness on the unhappiness of others.
Negativity is everywhere. You turn the television on and the news is full of it. You may complain about why your partner didn’t wash the coffee cup this morning. You may gossip about a friend and why they’re life seems better than yours. It can even be the person walking in front of you at the store is walking too slow.
Here are some negative traits of people to help you recognize them in yourself or others:
Complainers: People who start their day rambling on about the aches and pains they feel. They never seem to find anything good to say.
Casualties: People who think the world is against them and blame their problems on others.
Competitors: People who compare themselves to others and they try to make themselves or the choices they make look better.
Controllers: People who track their friends/partners every move. They control how they spend their time, with whom, and what choices they make.
It is not surprising how so many engage in negativity. Most important it is within you.
You do not wake up and decide how you can be mean to other people every day. You don’t think about how you can make yourself feel better by making others feel bad.
Negativity comes from:
- a fear that bad things are going to happen
- a fear the someone will disrespect you
- a fear you will not be loved
It is these fears that stir up negative emotions.
Bad things do happen in the world. We can be someone who is being profiled or someone who got cut off in traffic. We can’t allow ourselves to adopt a victim mentality. This type of thinking can make us feel as if we can behave selfishly.
Negativity is contagious! We tend to conform to our surroundings. The more negativity surrounds you, the more negative you become. Your mind doesn’t want to deal with debates or conflict. It is better to practice mindfulness and peace. It can make you aggressive towards people who have nothing to do with why you are aggressive in the first place. An angry attitude leads to stress which in turn debilitates your immune system. So, you’re hurting yourself more than you trying to hurt others.
Negativity is a trait, not someone’s identity. Learn to enjoy your freedom as a human being and refuse to let anything upset you. Judging other people is acting negatively. You show that you are better than them but really have major internal issues to clear up. Think, would you want someone to judge you at your worst moment?
Let go! Letting go gives us the freedom to be happy. If we hold on to anger, anxiety, or possessions, we can’t be free. This is not an easy task. It means you need to unpack any old anger, aggression, anxiety, and possessions and let them all go. You can get a journal and write down these things holding you from being free and happy. Let all the emotions, anxiety, and possessions go!
When we neutralize the external negativities, we are able to see our own negative tendencies and begin to reverse them. Recognize that competition is envy. Envy means you are judging something or others. It leads to being jealous, greed, lust, anger, and pride. Some may feel freedom means being able to say whatever we want, whenever we want, and however, we want. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say anything at all.
You need to start surrounding yourself with uplifting people. For every one negative person in your life, you should have three uplifting ones. Surround yourself with people that have a positive attitude for life. When your around these people, they inspire and push you to grow.
If you only find joy in your own successes, your limiting your happiness. Taking pleasure in the successes of family, friends, coworkers, or strangers this is true happiness.
These tips can help you recognize these negative traits in yourself or others around you. Limit your time with those who surround themselves with negativity. You will begin to live a happy life every day.